Where I write bestest

It's not at work, obviously. And it's certainly not at home, where my children terrorise me.

I write my best stuff on my bike.

I dunno why, but there's something about sitting at my desk that actually gets in the way of thinking. Maybe it's the myriad distractions of the internet. Or the background hum of developers arguing over whether Spiderman could defeat The Sandman 'in real life'.

Whereas trundling home on my bike seems to free my mind.

The best writing is a string of ideas. And they just seem to flow on a bike. A gag or nice turn of phrase that would usually take ages to come up with suddenly comes so easily.

I don’t actually scribble words on paper, but I compose it all in my tiny mind. Then I type it up, usually the next day, and do the last bits of tinkering.

I wish it wasn’t this way. It’d be far easier if I wrote best sat in the office which is, after all, specifically for that purpose. Maybe I should nail an exercise bike to my desk and be done with it.

Yet I suspect I’m not alone.

What about you other writers out there? I’d love to hear where you write best. Is it at the kitchen table? Or down the pub? Or riding bareback across the desert at dawn?

And for once this isn’t my usual pathetic plea for comments to give me a sense of self-worth (well, it’s not just that). I’d be most intrigued to know.

Extreme dog grooming

Wow. Double wow.

Extreme dog grooming (from America, obviously) is an actual thing. You can scoop over £18,000 in prize money for a single event!







That's right, A FRICKING NINJA TURTLE!

There are even more amazing images here

(Apologies if this is old news but once I saw it, I just had to post it. I'm sure you understand.)

Via charlottegibling

Some of my work #1

This is the first in a new series.

Seeing as this is an industry blog, I thought I’d stick some work up here as a bit of self promotion. I’d love to hear your feedback – please be as honest as you like!

Toilet door – Poster



It's so cool when you first see something you've done in print and in the public space.

The idea popped into my head one lunchtime when my senses were assaulted by a blocked toilet. The idea was to come up with something that stopped people going into the cubicle and seeing THE HORROR in the pan.

It was created in Word and printed on 110gsm stock (white).

There was no budget or time on it (so what’s new?!) but the client LOVED it! What’s particularly pleasing is that it was only intended as a tactical one-off, but they’ve gone on to use it in subsequent campaigns, even getting it laminated!

It just goes to show what can happen when you keep your eyes open for creative opportunities and possess the tenacity to come up with work even without a brief.

Please can I have a job thinking up product names for Hotel Chocolat goods?

You can pay me in said goods.

Try telling Noah he can't cartwheel

One of the reasons I love this job is that I learn so much about writing. Mainly from suits who LOVE to give me pointers on my copy!

The other day, as one suity-wordsmith breezily handed me her improvements to an email, having inserted the word ‘great’ eight times and turned the subject header into a 17-word tour de force, this image popped into my head – my two-year-old nephew, Noah, teaching his peers how to cartwheel.



Look at his face as he gets up.

‘Now THAT is how you cartwheel, you shmucks’ he’s thinking.

And, depressingly, that same expression was writ large across my colleague’s face as she handed me the amends.

“Now THAT is how you write copy, Mr Realmenwritelongcopy”.



So please just bear this in mind next time you see a fault with someone's cartwheel.

Do not try to cartwheel for them. For you may very well cartwheel like a two-year-old.