Thursday, March 4, 2010

Following the success of my recent campaign to ‘STOP hiring art directors. FULL STOP.’ today sees the launch of my new movement, to MAKEPLANNINGHISTORY.

Planning is a shameful stain on our business.

Every year around 10% of an agency’s wage billings is wasted on planners. This is money that could be spent on biscuits or toilet roll.

Enough is enough!

Join my campaign where we say “No!” to brainstorms. Where we cry "No more!" to briefs being held up for weeks while they research things like 'the target market for electricity' or 'what kind of person drinks water'.

Here are some ways you can get involved in the campaign:

Add the MAKEPLANNINGHISTORY twibbon to your twitter pic (no I have no idea why either).

Buy tickets for the MAKEPLANNINGHISTORY benefit gig. It's going to be at the Wetherspoons in Leytonstone. Already confirmed are Lloyd from X Factor and local church tribute act Nuns 'n' Moses.

And most importantly, give money:
  • £2 will pay for a planner to have a meal with normal people to get some ‘insights’ into the fact that none of them give a monkeys about brands.
  • £20 will retrain a planner as a childminder or an academic, so they can babble away harmlessly without troubling anyone.
  • £200 will buy a goat. Goats are cool.
Please join my campaign today and help create a better future for us all.


  1. Having recently joined in with the planning bit of a pitch, I came away impressed by how planners can come up with figures (costs, reach, penetration, etc etc) that clients lap up, despite the fact they're evidently plucked out of the air at the last minute in a panic. Surely this kind of bollox is EXACTLY what agencies do and, ergo, planners are an essential cog in the bullshit machine.

  2. I freakin' love Nuns 'n' Moses!


  4. It's a good cause, but without planners people would see straight through my own bullshit, which is currently masked by their far superior shpeel. As a result I'd be made history instead. Still, £200 for a goat is a bloody good price. Goats are COOL, so I'll donate.

    Oh, and there's a spelling mistake in your post. I'll not tell you where; I'm an Art Director, and as such I'm not paid to point these things out to a text person.

    Yours, GC.

  5. So 5000 word opusi with no images or customer thought is the way forward I see.

    Without planning you better prepare for briefs passed word for word by the client...

    What you are really saying is 'Make Shit Planners History'. Now I won't claim to know what percentage that is, but there are definitely some that should be kept.

  6. Rob Rob Rob
    Last week was 'be mean to planners' week, this week is 'be mean to suits' week so please don't be upset with me. Think yourself lucky - every week is 'be mean to art director' week.

  7. Haha, my comment WAS being mean to suits!!

  8. They can be annoying shits can’t they.
    This always springs to mind:

    The last ‘insight’ I got from a planner, in a brain(dead)storm, was:

    ‘Pizzas are the centre of the occasion – they’re round... (suddenly gets rather animated at his own eureka moment) it’s true though, Pizzas are round’

    If I had anything about me I would have whipped out a piece, put it in me gob, and blew me face off there and then.