Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Be Nice To Suits Week

What if suits had a soul? What if, like us, they took pleasure in things like music, a beautiful sunset, or the sound of children laughing? What if they could love? Or feel pity?

I’ve been thinking about suits a lot lately. I’ve always believed we should show compassion for our fellow humans. So why not suits as well?

After all, no matter what some people say, they have it tough.

For example, just this lunchtime a nice account man named Matt was sent out in the pouring rain to deliver a laptop and broadband stick to some senior suits and clients. What was so important? Well, they were on a lunch jolly and they fancied looking at their website.

And that’s the way the bitter little suit cookie crumbles.

So in honour of Matt and the thousands of poor saps like him, I’m making this ‘Be Nice To Suits Week’.

You can mark it in whatever way you want. Here are a few suggestions to get you thinking how you might show suits some love:

• Give them the work before the deadline.
• Let them finish their sentence before you laugh disparagingly.
• Read the brief before you begin criticising it.
• Try not lying to them.
• Look in wonder at the things they do in Excel and admire them.
• Look in horror at the things they do in Powerpoint and feel sorry for them.
• When you talk to them, keep saying their name at the end of every sentence – they think that's how genuine people show they care. Mirror their body language too.
• Smile at one of them.
• Make them a cup of tea. Actually, scratch that. It’s going too far.

Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, try being nice to a suit today. They’re people too, remember?

By the way, if you’re a suit and were made to carry out some menial and humiliating task, please share your pain. Stick it in the comments section so we can all have a good laugh.


Hello dear reader.

I wrote the above guff over a year ago.

I thought it was just another unfunny post singling out and ridiculing colleagues.

But then a couple of months ago, Blogger provided a stats function and I discovered it’s my most popular post. By a country mile. It gets ten times more views than any other (that’s over TWENTY views!)

So I was wondering if you could solve this riddle for me and tell me how you got here?

There’s no obvious term that’s coming up in searches and sucking people in.

And no it’s not because I put it in Most popular posts in my gadgets on the right. I only just did that.

If you could let me know in the comments section, I'd be much obliged.


  1. ... this is why everyone hates advertising. did you little children know that we just change the work if we dont like it and tell you the client told us too? now back to your little coloured pens and paper. do some more stuff for me to judge.

  2. Excelent blog,

    I took your advice and even got a smile back! To be fair I'll read a 'brief' when it is just that, brief!

    Plus I thought of an extra one...

    Look at them in awe at how clever they are when they use new fangled hybrid words and phrases like 'Sense Check' and 'Flag that up' Got to love them!

    I'm going back to scribble for my pay, while they bend over for the client all day!

  3. I just had to do a very very quick straw poll to see if answering my phone to a suit was a good idea so early in the week.

    I picked up, I stayed quiet through most of it, they felt like I was listening, I got to look at design week for a minute, and eveyone was happy.

    It's a great idea but, like Betamax and the minidisc, I can't see it catching on.

  4. Play nice, kids.

    There's no need to make us tea, chaps - all we ask is that you have a really big set of felt-tips, a messy desk and a chip on your shoulder about the idea you had that somebody stole. Anything else is really just a bonus.

    And Graham, I'm coming for dismantlerepair. She deserves a Suit.

  5. Trouble is, I've always symapthised with suits. And now I spend even more time with clients, I truly admire them. I get paid for being sarcastic, drinking tea and laughing a lot. And who makes sure that happens? You guessed it.
    Save your ire for the jobsworth who's chasing you down every 20 minutes for timesheets, that's what I say.

  6. A good friend of mine starting shagging an account director this week. While i applaud her commitment to the cause, I do think she went too far.

  7. Well, she will be a fully fledged London lady in a few weeks, but if the first tweet 'n' meet happens, I'll now make sure I keep her locked in the cupboard for safe keeping She'll be ok, I'll chuck a camera in for her to use, I'm not nasty.

  8. I just love how unhappy first anonymous is

    In a job that he hates, hating the work he depends upon, pretending he has some power.


    kill yourself.

    i could have made this more cruel. but i think life is cruel enough for the poor little cunt already.

  9. Hey mate,

    I got to your blog because I wanted a picture of a young businessman. After typing "young man" into google, I found exactly what I needed, royalty free, 6 images into the search.
    Cheers! :)

    ps. I also read your blog and the story about dedicating a song to your headmaster made me lol.

  10. wow I have a big problem and I need help......