Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Every parent's worst fear – having an art director

I almost spilt my extra-milky ultra-weak Earl Grey this morning as I saw Baby RMWLC, focussing hard as she tried to walk, pulling an ‘art director’s face’.

You know the one I mean. That endearing one when they’re focusing every last brain cell on the task at hand (colouring in without going over the lines) and they stick their tongue out of the corner of their mouth and narrow their eyes in concentration. Yes, that face.

I couldn’t believe it. A child of mine an art director?! Talk about a cruel twist of fate.

Thankfully, a few soothing words from Mrs RMWLC coaxed me out of my despair.

She explained that behaving like an art director is a developmental stage that all children go through at around 12-18 months.

In fact, as a child matures they at one time or another possess the mental capacity of all agency types. It goes roughly like this:

Art director (12-18 months). Responds to simple instructions. Babbles 2 or 3 words repeatedly. Demands constant mothering.

Studio (18-24 months). Can put on shoes.

Account Director (2-4 years). Joins 2-3 words in sentences. Feeds self with spoon. Can count to twenty.

Account Exec (5-8 years). Speaks in sentences. Constantly asks questions.

Creative Director (8-12 years). Knows right from left (in most instances). Fluent with few infantile substitutions in speech.

Planner (teens). Awkward in social settings. Worry about being ‘normal’.

Copywriter (20+). Full cognitive development.

Pretty enlightening, huh?

You may be surprised at how developmentally advanced planners are supposed to be, but they do tend to be pretty smart. The point is they actually choose to say those things.

I'm just hoping Baby RMWLC grows out of this art director stage quickly – it's a bit much having to wipe away someone else's drool all day. Then come home and have to do the same.

By the way, if anyone has an Account Director that they've successfully potty trained, please do leave any tips in the comments section.


  1. I think there's also a traffic person stage, where they keep bothering you with "Are we there yet?" every two minutes.

  2. Your blog has reached Lebanon..I love your stuff! ;)

  3. I don't think copywriters can have art directors.

    Your baby will turn out to be a writer I'm sure.

    ...and a nonce like his dad.

  4. Yet more gold mate!

    I feel the need to remind you that RichO would kick your ass in a bare knuckle boxing match, and I don't care how many bricks you can carry, so be nice!

  5. Thank you all for your kind words especially you Dani as, being in another country, your opinion has 200% more authority.
    Exactly how big am I in Lebanon? Would some kind of tour be premature? Let me know.

  6. Oh, ok. You've reached India as well. A tour here would be premature. That can wait till the IPL starts generating dough.
    (Work for one franchise, the cheque's been in the mail for more than a month now.)

    But I have two here who have jumped straight from Art Director stage to Creative Director stage. Not too capable of speech as they are still panting.
    Can I send them over to steal your jobs?
    If my IPL money comes in, might even pay you to keep them.