I had a lovely holiday, thanks for asking.
I’ve come to the point in my life where a holiday’s success is not measured by cultural sites visited or tan accrued, but by how well I prevented parenthood standing in the way of self-indulgence.
I was made particularly aware of this dynamic on a recent break at a caravan park in Devon. (That’s right, a caravan park. The freelance budget only extends so far you know.)
The whole park was designed in such a way as to allow you to freely consume alcohol whilst technically still 'watching over' your child.
This is a random woman from the interweb and not Mrs RMWLC thank you very much
Pub and playground were seamlessly integrated. The soft-play area even had its own bar. The stools were padded for the child’s safety, but also tall enough to deter children from seeking comfort in their parents’ arms.
Those wishing to put more distance between themselves and their offspring could sit on the pub’s balcony some 30 feet above the playground.
If their child should fall from a zip line or become tangled in the machinations of a roundabout they’d be in the perfect position to observe this and even holler first aid tips at any nearby children.
If you're looking for a way to avoid engaging with your children, I really can't recommend it highly enough.
Anyway, I'm back to work this week. Well, back to looking for work.
Well, okay, I'm back to sitting on the park bench feeding the pigeons. At least they don't answer back.