13 hours ago
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
I wonder if this is the most middle class way you could end yourself? Jumping from the top floor of John Lewis on Oxford Street?
I reckon so. Particularly if you managed to impale yourself on some Jamie Oliver-endorsed kitchen utensils.
This is the kind of thought that plops into my mind when returning an item over the festive period, that's all.
On a similar note, I’ve been thinking about writing a murder mystery around a fantastically middle class killer. In the opening scene, a woman lifts the lid of her breadmaker to discover her husband’s severed head rolling around inside, sprinkled with organic poppy seeds.
Maybe it’s time I got an agent.
Posted by real men write long copy at 6:01 PM