The stench of loneliness

And suddenly, I find myself alone once more.

The merry-go-round of freelance life was making me giddy and a little nauseous and then, without warning, I was thrown off onto the grassy verge of no work. For a week at least.

So here I am, sat on the edge of my bed in my pants tapping on the keyboard, with only that pale, mournful-looking chap in the mirror for company.

Never mind. I shall meet this challenge head on, with my usual mix of despair and self loathing.

First off, I need to decide on the most effective use of my time.

I could go out looking for work, but I don’t want to seem needy.

I could spend more time with the family, but there seems little point. Both my kids are under three, which means they’re unlikely to remember anything I do with them.

So I thought the best thing would be to start posting my bellybutton fluff again.

You never know who might stumble upon this blog, see my impressive harvest and think ‘I want to hire this guy RIGHT NOW.’

Of course all this whole no-work thing is down to some bad choices on my part.

First off, I made the mistake of booking a holiday. Don’t ever book a holiday if you’re a freelancer. Every agency in London takes it as an invitation to offer you work. It's astonishing. Strangers will stop you in the street and offer you freelance for the duration of your holiday.

Then, once I was looking again, nothing. Except for a three-day gig I turned down because I was so convinced I'd have lots of better offers any minute. I spent the last day of holiday marching my family around the clifftops of Devon trying to get a signal and still nothing.

The important thing is to stay positive. This is a chance for me to learn lessons. Important lessons for life. It’s a chance to better myself and to replace that seal between the bath and the wall tiles. The mould there is getting worse and worse. I only did it a few months ago and I was so careful to make sure it was dry before I applied the new seal so why has the mould come back, WHY?!!

And of course, my loss is also your gain, as my newly unemployed status leaves plenty of time for blogging.

Each day I shall post my bellybutton fluff (you can expect a bumper crop on Wednesdays, I always get a lot on Wednesdays). These alluring images will be accompanied by some sage words from the world of freelance (my bedroom).

Tune in, folks, I'm here all week!