Bryan’s left but that doesn’t mean you have to

Regular readers will be as surprised as me to find my blog has become both funny and popular in the last week. Less surprising is the fact that this happened in my absence.

Bryan ‘Grunders’ Grundy, our man from finance, took my place while I had a week off to recover from the strains of writing the fourteenth most popular UK-centric long-copy-based blog written by a hirsute man in a wrestling outfit.

I’ve got Bryan to crunch some numbers on last week’s stats. The results made for some sobering reading.

It turns out he is 29% more popular than me. And 307% funnier.

Whatever. I’m back at the helm now to steer this blog back into the impenetrable fog of my inane and humourless babble.

Here are some things I can tell you right now:

• While I was away the guy who replaced me lowered my chair and also lowered the left armrest. But not the right. Curious.
• Today I’ve been asked to edit a pub menu. This is not a joke. Has anyone been asked to do a more humbling writing job than this? If so please let me know in the comments.
  
• On my holiday (near Bath) I went to a country park and saw some llamas. I hate llamas because touching one as a child triggered an allergy to ALL animal hair. Again this is not a joke. Has anyone else experienced or heard of this phenomenon (your experience might not be with a llama but another animal)?
• I think that is all.

It’s amazing, I can almost hear the new readers leaving with each word I type.

Ah well. Only 8 weeks to go til Grunders takes over again.