I've been to J R Hartley's for lunch. Have you? Didn't think so.

If you’re pregnant, I heartily recommend attending an NCT class.

You get to spend a few hundred quid learning how to say helpful stuff to your partner like “Push”, none of which is useful as in the end they decide to make a neat cut and just pull the baby out of her tummy (why didn’t they just do that in the first place?)

On the plus side, you get to meet lots of nice people.

You go bowling with the other men and give one another hilarious birth-themed names on the scoresheet, like Forceps and Perineum.

Then if you’re really lucky, you have a get-together at your friend Emma’s parents’ house. And it turns out to be the home where they shot the classic Yellow Pages J.R. Hartley ad!

I know!



Sadly, JR wasn’t home. So I got a photo of myself in situ instead.


And here’s my friend Emma playing the part of the daughter.


I’m thinking of turning this into a regular feature and going round other famous ad homes. Here’s my wishlist.

The Ferrero Rocher Ambassador's house.

Flake girl’s house – the nice one in the garden, not the one on the windowsill who in my opinion was a bit slutty.

Gold Blend couple’s house. Although I’d probably feel a bit of a gooseberry, like this poor chap. I can’t stand it when a couple’s all luvvy-duvvy right in front of you. I’d have to shout “I am still here you know”.

So if anyone knows where these guys live, please get in touch.