Friday, October 23, 2009

We are all Ian

Wondering what this post would read like if it were written by someone intelligent? Read the new Planningplusone.
Here are some things that anger me on the underground:
• People looking at me funny
• People breathing wrong
• People looking at me funny whilst breathing wrong
• People looking miserable
• People smiling but sarcastically
• People walking in front of me but 0.00001mph slower than I like to walk

London is the angry capital. And I would be the King of Angry, if it weren’t for the fact everyone else seems to be angry too.

Which is why I’m not too sure about the campaign to get that tube worker sacked.

Yes he is a horrible little person. But aren’t we all?

I am, at any given moment, only one elbow nudge from throwing an innocent old man under a train. I mean, let’s be honest, who hasn’t at one time or another deliberately tripped a nun who pushed past us on the escalator? Or at least thought about it?

There's something about the underground that brings out the worst in people. Like firearms. And the 80s.

My worry is, it feels like the twitmob is out of control. My twitter feed is starting to read like the letters section of The Daily Heil.

Sure, twitter is for protesting. But that means real issues like free press and democracy. Not, ‘he’s got long hair and an annoying face and shouts so let's get him sacked’

The problem with being involved in a campaign against someone mean is that it’s mean, no?

Principally, tweets should be a force for all that is funny and dumb.

For example, here are some which have made my world a better place recently:

@adlandsuit: When faced with a dilemma, just take a breath and ask yourself the all-important question: What would Atomic Kitten do?

@Elika: Hang on... Wait... No. Wait... Ah. There it is: my hangover.

@SandwichRich I wish there was a Shewolf in MY closet.

Not to mention following the hilarious trials of @realnickgriffin getting caught with stolen cocktail sausages in his pockets at TV Centre yesterday.

Ridiculing fascists. Now THAT'S what twitter should be about.


  1. As far as it goes, the thing to remember about London is, "If you can't take a joke, you shouldn't have joined."

  2. Everything everywhere should be about ridiculing fascists. It's the mob gift that keeps on giving.

  3. Ta for the link Dave. This is what I put elsewhere:
    "maybe it's just human nature? A medium gets invented and that medium is used for a)porn, b)righteous fury, c)advertising, and then eventually it calms down. Or not. What I would say is that these things speak more to the nature of humans than the nature of twitter. It's just a facilitator. A horrible, horrible facilitator."

    Perhaps the only thing that can fill the void to (almost) everyone's satisfaction really *is* ridiculing fascists.