Where you sit matters

Trends will come and go. Agencies will rise and fall. Martin Sorrell’s jowls will become saggier and saggier. But this one indisputable truth will remain.

Where you sit matters.

Whether or not you're aware of it, colleagues judge your worth almost completely by where you're sat.

Next to the CD? This guy looks like a real go-getter, an ideas machine!

On the broken table next to the fire exit? Who’s the loser in the corner? No one’s gonna miss him when he’s gone.

Not only that. Your proximity to certain colleagues can have a big impact on your productivity.

Being around fun, smart, energetic people is stimulating. And the opposite is also true – sitting near designers can be extremely demotivating.

And of course more than all these, when it comes to seating plans, one factor eclipses all others in terms of importance: your proximity to the kitchen.

Twice I've left a job with great prospects at an agency I've loved, purely because I was too far away from the kettle.

It upset my whole balance. I’d have to plan cups of tea into my weeing routine just to save my legs.

I got so fed up with the trek at one place, I took to keeping my own personal kettle under the desk. But people got really funny when they noticed my steaming crotch.

Please can we address this?

Careers are built or destroyed and cups of tea are made and not made because of seating plans. And yet they are at the whim of a traffic person, or based on whatever involves the least work for the Office Services guy.

Let’s put our best people on this from now on.

And if I come to your place anytime soon, make sure you stick me near the kitchen, okay?