Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Join my campaign to spoon justice back into breakfast

As I skipped merrily to the free staff breakfast bar this morning for my daily dose of roughage and vitamins, I was stopped in my tracks. By the strong arm of injustice. Namely, this.

That’s right, the dishes for the fruit and cereal buffet have been replaced by new ones that are 3mm shallower.

Well isn’t that a fine how-do-you-do?

Here I am giving my all, sometimes working 9-hour-days, to please The Man. AND FOR WHAT?

To be rewarded with THIS??!!

I spoke to the girl serving and she was unhelpful to say the least. After pointing out it's free, she then says, “You’re welcome to take two” – when she knows only too well I can’t carry two dishes AND my gingerbread frappucinno. And there’s no way I’m making two trips up and down those stairs.

Well they’ve gone too far this time. I’m sorry. You can push a man so far. And then a bit further. But then that really is it.

Someone has to stand up for the common man. That’s why I’m asking you to join my campaign, ‘Productivity Ends Now – Imploring for Sustenance’.

Add your support today, whether it's emotional or practical.

Together, our voices cannot be ignored!


  1. Now, I'd be more than happy to help, but first I need to deal with my breakfast-envy. You get free breakfast? Every day? Even if you know, deep down, that you're probably not going to have one of your more 'efforty' days? I want that. My agency doesn't do that. In fact, I've never had that - even at Ogilvy, we had to pay for it. (Or flirt with Connie, the lovely old lady on the till. I flirted.)

    So, erm, yes. Give Mr RMWLC back his three millimetres, you bastards.

  2. I'm with Adland Suit. You get a breakfast buffet? My agency doesn't even provide butter. Not even a lousy pat of Tesco's own too-yellow, toast-crumb-ridden offering.

    You big whinger.

  3. I too, feel your pain. Our staff canteen has increased the morning rolls by a ridiculous 20%! And that's not by circumference, by the way. A roll has gone from 50p to 60p while we were all looking the other way and moaning about the glaikit canteen staff and their poor hygiene.

    Did my non existent wage rise reflect this enormous percentage increase so I can budget effectively for my daily tattie scone and brown sauce with butter roll? I should think not!

    20%, indeed.

  4. As the man who, yet again, provided the grist for your petty-minded mill I have to protest at you wasting 18 lines worth of words (some of which you could have used to write good long copy rather the pitiful dross you insist on shoving my way) just to crack THE WEAKEST KNOB GAG I HAVE EVER READ. So poor in fact, that even the under-employed AdLand Suit didn't spot it. That's it, I'm off for four days. Things had better have improved by the time I get back or, or, or I'll start writing my own blog about the inane conversations I'm forced to have with you and then where will you be for content, eh? eh!?!

  5. Ha! PENIS. That's funny. (I like snox. He's also funny.)

  6. Adland Suit, you obviously haven't met him.