Never failing to disappoint

I’ve been doing some research into how people end up on this blog. Apparently, some readers come here intentionally. But most come in search of something and (like those who come here intentionally) leave disappointed.

These are some of the searches that led people here:

"read it and weep" copywriting
Boss touching
prayer for business
a bug that looks like a fly but larger with stripes

Most frustrated of all, however, has to be the poor soul who searched for ‘How to write long copy’. Unbelievably, this blog actually comes out top if you search for it.

If that was you, I’m so sorry.

But I'm going to make it up to you. I've written my top tips for aspiring writers. These are lessons plumbed from the depths of my advertising knowledge. Tips gleaned from the great harvest field of creativity. Enjoy:

• Listen to angry music. That way, when suits come over they’re less inclined to argue.
• Apple c apple v. Get to know these two keystrokes, they’re the most important weapons in any writer’s arsenal. After all, what’s the point in writing something again when someone’s already done it for you?
• Go to lunch early. Otherwise there’ll be a big queue.
  
• Get a window. These are good for looking out of and thinking. Or just looking out of.
• Go to the pub on Friday lunchtimes. Otherwise you enter the weekend filled with a strange sense of self-loathing. Don’t know why, you just do.

That’s it for now. I’ve got loads more I’m sure, that’s just for starters. And if anyone else has any, please pop them in the comments.