Envy and malice

I sent this round to my work chums earlier, because it is unquestionably utterly unbelievably brilliant.
A young graduate here replied that he knows the guys who did it, they had been on his course, "Really chuffed for them, they're two very talented guys" he said.
I replied that I hated them.
He confessed that, yes, he felt the same.
You see? It's just so much better when we express our jealousy, hatred and insecurity. It's healthy.
Let's hope these guys spend the rest of their lives paralysed with the fear of having to follow this up and we see them sitting on a bench in Soho Square soon, sipping Purple Tin and scaring passers-by with drunken renditions of 'The only way is up'.